Please check your chicken!
It has been on three different occasions that I have inadvertently bought chicken that was on the turn from the supermarket.
On the turn to what you ask? Possibly towards becoming a zombie chicken wing, but more likely on its way to becoming some sort of primordial slime that one finds at the bottom of the refrigerator.
On one of these occasions,we had planned to make a chicken casserole that evening, so took the chicken back to your store to exchange it. The girl at the checkout looked rather doubtful as we explained our problem. She soon gave us the word to exchange the chicken, after smelling the package. You could tell by the look on her face that she was horrified by the smell, but couldn´t say much because of company loyalty and such. Anyway, we went to find some new chicken, but it was ALL on the turn. Our chicken casserole had become a casserole with no chicken. The humanity.
Due to this, I have lost my trust that I will be buying fresh chicken from the store, and have to look like a weirdo smelling each package before putting it into my basket. This on top of the fruit and vegetable squeezing makes me feel like my grandmother.
Yours et cetera,
J. Cuthbert Esq.